Episode 3: The Case of the Tree Stump, Paralysis and Colon Gas

If you missed the first and second episodes, please click here for the first and here for the second.

In his separate ambulance, Watson began to regain his senses – half as much from the jostling ride and the rest from the scream of the siren. His head hurt and he was hesitant to speak.

Holmes was no longer with him. He wished for his presence. He knew Holmes’ deductive powers could help explain these strange men and the talking box on the dashboard. He also did not like the stream of oxygen pouring into his nose at great velocity from a clear plastic tube.

He studied the tube and followed it to a rather beat up metal cylinder that had a dial on the top with the indicator displaying 4 LpM. The pain in his head increased and he seemed to be having hallucinations. He knew from his medical training that delirium was setting in.

********

“Mr. Doyle,” said the other uniformed man riding with them.  “Can you tell me what you remember?”

Holmes looked straight at the man and stated, “My dear fellow you must have mistaken my identity. Please allow me to introduce myself.” Reaching out to clasp the fireman’s right hand he announced, “My name is Sherlock Holmes. And to tell you the truth Watson and I were climbing the same ladder in the kitchen trying to reach a box of Indian orange tea when the ladder collapsed. That is all I remember.”

Holmes looked at the man with British confidence and  with some false
bravado for some approval of his attempt at conversation with the strangely
dressed rescue team.

“Mr. Doyle, do you remember any more? Your doctor friend has a rather significant fracture of his mandible and maybe a serious internal head injury,” the fireman said. “And you have a laceration on the crown of your head about three inches long.”

Holmes stared blankly, thinking. He looked about for clues. Finally he asked, “Where is Dr. Watson?”

The uniformed man reassured him, “You will be reunited with your friend soon.”

Watson remained unusually quiet for the 20 minute bumpy ride to St. Francis hospital. Both ambulances arrived at their destination simultaneously.

Once there they rolled the doctor and the detective out on shiny yellow gurneys marked with the letters STRIKER on the tubular frame that supported their bodies. They went down a brightly lit hallway milling with people dressed in light green, loose fitting shirts
and similar pants – even on the women whose uniforms cinched at the waist with
a white cord.

Occasionally, Sherlock spied a nun but could not recognize the order. He assumed they were Franciscan from their chocolate brown habits. Holmes was not sure he was amused by this parade of strangely dressed medical workers and the odd collection of lighted panels, buttons, dials and sinister appearing equipment.

The room to which they brought him was labeled Triage 1. The doors opened and closed automatically as they rolled him through the entrance. Watson was detoured along their path to Trauma Triage 2. He made a note of it from the view he had rolling by at a speedy clip.

A nurse with gloves,  made of rubber but thinner, began to scrub his scalp with warm soapy water while another took his temperature, pulse and respirations and applied a small plastic clip to his index finger and asked him very politely to leave it in place. She explained it gave readout of his oxygen levels while it monitored his pulse.

Holmes nodded. His headache was gnawing at him and was actually getting worse while he processed all of the new things he had so far seen.

The nurse came by and spoke to him as if he were her neighbor: “Don’t worry, Arthur, we have called the surgeon to sew you scalp back together.” She spoke to him reassuringly but firmly.

Holmes addressed her and spoke with a passion. “My name is Sherlock Holmes not Arthur.”

Again the nurse responded calmly, “Of course you are Arthur Doyle. We all are avid fans of your novels. It seems you have had a slight concussion and that can cause symptoms of memory loss. It will all pass with a good rest.”

With that a man dressed in similar green cotton garments approached. Introducing himself, he revealed that he was Dr. Nelson, a general surgeon, and was about to close the laceration in Holmes’ scalp with sutures.

“Just a little pinch” he announced, as he infiltrated the wound edges with Novocain.

Holmes winced at the needle going in and in seconds the searing pain had resolved into coolness.

 

Episode 2: The Case of the Tree Stump, Paralysis and Colon Gas

Sherlock Holmes pipe

If you missed episode 1 of this miniseries, please click here.

Sherlock Holmes lay on the other gurney, the backboard holding his head straight by the application of red canvas straps. He strained to catch one more glimpse of Dr. Watson as they took him away to St. Francis Hospital. He managed a peek as they loaded him into a shiny white and red box-shaped truck that roared black smoke from underneath.

He was in awe when they hoisted him up as well and latched his gurney to rings on the inside wall of another red ambulance and departed. “It must be a fine set of horses that can pull this rig at this speed,” he said and then was even speechless when he noticed that there clearly were no horses.

Radio chatter squeaked from the dashboard console and the voice of men not present could be heard. “Ambulance crew number 12. Do you copy?” Yes, a young man in a neat blue uniform spoke with a Boston accent – one that was almost abrasive to the English language, in Holmes’ mind at least. “Do you have ID on the victims?”

“Not at this time, but the taller fellow with the tweed jacket seems a bit delirious. I recognize him from the newspaper. He is the detective novelist that bought the Mark Twain estate in Hartford. I recall his name is Arthur Doyle.”

Holmes gave a look of frustration when he realized the communication was about him and apparently they had him mixed up with some unknown author in Hartford, Connecticut. “I am Sherlock Holmes,” he protested with the finest English accent to his voice and he searched for a match to light the Meerschaum pipe he had drawn form his waist coat pocket.

“Hey, you can’t light that thing in here.” the uniformed man ordered. Holmes dropped the pipe with start. “You are on oxygen and there is risk of explosion.”

Holmes remembered Watson’s face and condition. He was out cold and nothing gave away the man’s profession except a Royal hospital name badge fastened to his broad double-breasted lapel. Watson’s pockets were turned inside out and his right arm pulled from his winter coat where a needle entered a bulging vein in his muscular forearm. Watson, on holiday with Sherlock at his forensics laboratory, had three days of fresh stubble on his face, a way of relieving the pseudo folliculitis barbae from which he suffered with due to his tight curls of red hair. A rudimentary stethoscope was just barely visible, the ear pieces just peaking out of the inner coat pocket.

Holmes was jostled about as his own rescue truck began to tear up the road. A siren roared from the racing vehicle. An uncomfortable ride resulted from quick turns, sudden lurches and potholes. Tension resulted especially from not understanding what propelled the bright red ambulance through the mysterious streets in Hartford, Connecticut.

A House Divided Cannot Stand

Abe Lincoln was the 16th President of the United States of America. His eloquent debating style and penchant for being truthful were celebrated throughout his career. He was known even to his enemies as Honest Abe.

 

America was at a crossroad when Lincoln ran for president. The Union of the American States was clearly at risk. Lincoln was elected to the Honest AbePresidency at precisely the time in history when our nation was on the verge of destroying itself over the issue of States’ rights and slavery.

 

Lincoln worked tirelessly and endured great suffering in his effort to save the Union. When the Civil War was over he went out of his way to offer a peaceful and open spirit of compassion for the Confederacy. Lincoln saved the United States of America and probably was assassinated by his enemies for his effort.

 

In the present day we are offered Hope and Change and are given more regulations and less freedom. Our president divides us purposefully into rich and poor. People who pay taxes and those who don’t. He characterizes taxpayers as not paying their fair share. He lies about the opposition when he says they want dirty air, dirty water and will strip the elderly of Medicare and social security.

 

He betrays our friends and undermines them. He champions our enemies and tells Putin he will have more leverage to make concessions after the election. He accuses his opposition of a war on women and proposes the ideal woman as dependent on government from cradle to grave in the personage of Julia, a cartoon effigy that he considers the model American woman. He tells us that religious freedom is not as important as his health care program. He just decided to support gay marriage reversing a previous pledge.

 

Obama is the anti-Lincoln. His mission is to divide the nation against itself so that it will collapse. His actions speak for themselves.

 

Theodore Morrison Homa MD

 

 

New Monthly Mini-Series: The Case of the Tree Stump, Paralysis and Colon Gas

This is a new mini-series I am incorporating into my blog. Stay tuned for more of this slightly different story of time travel.

Chapter 1: Identity Theft

London architecture“That tea, Dr. Watson, is up in the cupboard way in the back,” Holmes yelled up at the good doctor who had ensconced himself in the very top of the folding ladder almost as if it were a saddle on a horse. Holmes was worried that Watson would fall and told him to be careful at least three times. Watson reached farther into the back of the cabinet palpating the various boxes hoping to find the imported Indian orange tea he had been craving. He was about to give up when thinking the bright orange label on a small box just out of reach was his sought after prize, he shifted his weight.

 

With that tiniest shift in his center of gravity, the saddle moved out from beneath him with the rest of the rickety, wooden ladder. And he came tumbling down with a force so unexpected that when his jaw collided with Holmes’ skull the lights went out just as the pain showed up in the base of Watson’s jaw and the crown of Sherlock’s head.

 

There was complete silence, for it seemed that they had both departed their common world. No one saw them sprawled unconscious on the floor of Holmes’ kitchen. If there was an observer to this scene, the very sight of the orange flavored tea strewn about like common house dust on their unresponsive bodies posed in random calamity was enough to draw a smile on the most indifferent of faces.

 

Fantastically, they awakened in a new century in the new world in a place calledHartford,Connecticut. Paramedics called to the scene were busily applying oxygen through clear plastic tubes, strapping both Holmes and Watson to boards with red canvas straps, and securing each of their heads tightly to the board. Watson being the sort that would always protest before taking in his environment was assailing the paramedics mercilessly, while Holmes, remaining calm, was trying to ascertain the precise circumstances of their predicament.

 

Mark Twain's houseApparently these strange men in rubber suits with Fireman emblazoned across the back and chests had an unexpected familiarity with the two injured gentlemen and dared calling them by unfamiliar surnames without proper introduction. Brazen as this unwelcome familiarity was it gave Holmes the opportunity to acquire new knowledge while it antagonized Watson beyond a fault. It was Watson who declared first that everyone should “shut up” as the din was compounding his recently acquired headache.

 

Just then blood started to flow out of Watson’s left ear. Holmes could see it and although he had a rudimentary knowledge of medicine he quickly realized that it could only mean one thing. Before he could announce his discovery the tall paramedic who had the air of a supervisor spoke into a small black box attached to his oversized lapel and pronounced the fact: “Blood from the Doctor’s ear suggests a basilar skull fracture.” A voice came back from the box with a rasp. “Load him into the ambulance at once and bypassHartfordhospital. Take him to St. Francis. They have a neurosurgery intensive care unit bed available there.”

 

Playing Hooky with Baseball Greats: Tribute to Moose Skowron

Just yesterday I was in fifth grade. The morning light flooding my bedroom awakened me with a start. The alarm clock did not go off! Peeking out from under the covers and absorbing the cool fresh morning air rushing in through the bedroom window, I lay there and wondered. Did Mom and Dad forget me? Did they over sleep? I heard no one but smelled coffee subliminally under the fresh autumn air.

old carThe clock indicated 9:30 a.m. Well, I thought, school has begun and here I am. Should I ring the alarm? Sound the warning? Convict them of forgetting about me? Or should I lay here and be quiet enjoying the late slumber just like a Saturday morning but with guilt? Conundrums like this were seldom posed to 11-year-old boys to solve. In my pre-adolescent way I mulled over my predicament and in a very 1950’s way decided to keep a low profile and attempt to play hooky.

In an instant the bedroom door opened and there stood Dad in his suit and tie. Before I could speak to defend my decision he smiled and wished me a great day at the World Series before turning on his heel and leaving for work.

Ebbets Field in Brooklyn“The World Series,” I screamed as I buzzed around my room getting dressed to go to Ebbet’s Field in the Flatbush neighborhood of Brooklyn. It was Wed., Oct. 10, 1956, and if the sun wasn’t shining for one minute that day I didn’t notice.

Ebbet's Stadium BrooklynWe arrived at the baseball stadium amidst crowds of New Yorkers, everyone rooting for a home team. That day like many others in NYC there just was no place else on earth west of the Hudson River or east of the Atlantic Ocean.

I greedily grabbed my copy of the MLB schedule as we waded through the gates of Ebbet’s Field. Showing our tickets was Ernie’s dad, the vocal sensation Snooky Lanson from “Your Hit Parade.” We made our way up to the second tier of left centerfield grand stand. I remember a square pole in front of our seats. Snooky, being the epitome of a southern gentleman, saw to it that Ernie and I had an unobstructed view and took the pole seat himself.

The roster for the game read like a who’s who in the baseball Hall of Fame. For the NY Yankees: Hank Bauer in right field, Billy Martin at second base, Mickey Mantle in centerfield, Yogi Berra was catcher. Yogi’s back-up, Elston Howard, was now playing left field. Gill McDougald was, as usual, at short stop, and Andy Carey anchored third base. Johnny Kucks was our pitcher. The other team was the Brooklyn Dodgers. Their roster was just as famous, but I spiritually was and am a Yankee.

Baseball player The MooseI as in Heaven that day as the Yankees trounced the Dodgers 9-to-0. In the seventh inning with three men on base, the mighty Moose Skowron was at the plate. This is the 200 pound, six-foot-tall giant of a man that Casey Stengal needed badly enough in the lineup even though he could not catch a fly ball. Stengal made a first baseman out of the Moose by requiring him to take dancing lessons at Arthur Murray Dance studios.

The Moose was up, and the signal must have been to bat away as there were no outs. I was in the left center upper tier next to Ernie. The pitch came at the Moose. He would say later he swung because the ball looked really big.

Contact! Time stood still as it does sometimes when Finn McGee travels in his time machine. The world was in slow motion. The white sphere sailed through the air to the left center upper deck. I saw it bounce while I was reaching in vain to catch it as the roar of the crowd blew through Ebbet’s field like a hurricane.

In memory of a baseball giant: Moose Skowron 1930-2012, also a Chicago great.

Theodore Morrison Homa MD